One year - A year of firsts, a year of loss, a year of recovery, a year of acceptance.
A year ago we experienced a moment when the world stood still. Ironically this was because Julio couldn’t stand at all. When we felt as if we were watching a nightmare play out. Thinking this wasn’t supposed to happen to us. Wishing that someone would pinch us, and that we would wake up from this bad dream.
A year full of tests, scans, surgeries and rounds of treatment. A year where half of it was spent in hospital. A year that has taught advocacy, patience and appreciation. The emotions not as raw, still sit near the surface, yet close enough to come up and suffocate us at any moment.
Rehabiliation, identity, and acceptance have been the forefront of this time. Julio’s whole world was flipped upside down. Everything he knew changed. Everything was now different. When he would ask, “How could this happen? How is this fair?” I always reply, “We are in this together. We will get through this together, test by test, day by day.”
No one can prepare for this, no one can ever understand, until you are living in this life. When everything you’ve ever known is taken from you. The simple things such as having a shower, washing your hands at the sink, hopping in the car to go to the grocery store, tucking your kids into bed, playing pass with the kids or even going to work. These are tasks of the past. Some are now considered special occasions, like when he gets to brush his teeth at a sink, or have a shower.
When we think he is stable; we learn of another appointment, scan, or surgery. Will he ever be able to just be? To be given the time to process what is happening.
When I asked our kids how we should recognize this day. Our youngest explained, “we should get a cake, we won’t sing happy birthday but we will say, One year of being Brave.”
One year for Julio being brave and for us all standing behind him. Julio you inspire us each and every day. You are truly the strongest person we know. Keep your head up. We will continue to advocate, we will continue to look for options and we will continue to be Brave.
Love you forever and ever xo <3